Who Let the Boys Out?
I wrote the following article in The Glendale Star and The Peoria Times in September of 2008. It’s about a transition our family went through then. I think many of you will relate to what happened to us then, especially if you have grown children going off to college or entering the workforce now or in the past. Here’s our story.
“Well, this week many children and young adults on this side of the world are starting school and university or starting their careers somewhere. Our youngest son is starting at Arizona State University. He is majoring in Geophysics. Geophysics sounds impressive and academic, doesn't it? The ‘physics’ in geophysics is what worries me.
Our oldest son, after three years in the Glendale Community College Fire Academy, is a full-time fireman with the Buckeye Valley Fire Department. He graduated from Paramedic School on August 23. At 21, he is a young Medic and Firefighter. Ever hungry to improve, Matt starts Engineers School in a few weeks.
Our oldest daughter, the apple of our eye, left years before our two sons did. She has a Bachelors degree in Communication from Arizona State University West. She is now married with two beautiful daughters and a great husband. She works taking care of the girls. Since this article is about both our boys leaving on the same day, I will focus on their story and write about our daughter in a future article.
Since our youngest son, who received a partial scholarship from ASU, was leaving, I couldn't resist sending him the following letter.
The 'Letter Home from School' reads, "Dear Dad, $chool is really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can send me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you. Love, your $on."
Now, here is the dad’s reply. "Dear Son, I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are enough to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and that you can never study eNOugh. Love, Dad." That’s two worlds colliding.
So, these are times of transition for my wife and me. We will be empty nesters, and it's going to take more than a dog to get me through this. Matt bought a home way out west in one of those communities in east Los Angeles. Jon is going to live in the Manzanita dorm at ASU. Both boys just moved out of our house on the same day. I kept telling the boys, “There’s no place like home." The morning after they moved out, I was looking under their beds to see if they were there. I know some of you are thinking, “What's wrong with that? Now you are free to do what you want too!” But that is not what I was feeling at all.
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For the last twenty-two years, we have invested our lives in these two guys. We have given them the best we knew how in the things of God, as well as in life. With me being a pastor, they have had to endure the sometimes not-so-good stigma of being PK's or preachers' kids. When you are a PK, everything you do tends to get micromanaged by everyone else. That's not easy, and it can be hard to endure when you are trying to discover who you are.
Yet, we must release the guys so 'our' Jesus can become 'their' Jesus, and 'our' Christianity can become 'their' Christianity. They will face all kinds of stuff out there in the world. Just think of the temptations waiting for them: money, girls, fame, parties, and the rest. And think about some university professors more interested in indoctrinating than educating young people. We realized a long time ago what President Roosevelt articulated when he said, "To educate a man in mind and not in morals is to educate a menace to society."
We gave all three of our kids more than our heads. We gave them our lives, our God, our hearts, our time, and our heritage. Will they make some mistakes? Sure. Will they be perfect? Never- who is? Will all the love, values, and attention we gave growing up be tested to the limit? Absolutely.
Yet, somehow, I believe that what God, Becky, and I put in them during their younger years will be stronger in the long run than what others try to put on them in the future. Becky and I have been a part of the greatest thing we will ever do. What's that, you ask? Raise good citizens of both heaven and earth, and that's great for our community.”
How did you like that real-life story from September 2008? Here’s a quick 2026 update on the two boys, 18 years later. Our oldest son is a Captain and a Medic at a large fire department in the Phoenix Metro area. Our youngest son has a PhD in Geophysics from the University of Arizona and works at a large university in the Midwest. He’s a candidate for tenure this year. And Kristin, with her oldest daughter in university, has excelled at a large re-insurance company in Scottsdale.
And how about Becky and me? Becky loves playing golf with her girlfriends and enjoys our grandchildren from both boys, who have married wonderful wives. What about me? I still look under the beds every morning, hoping there's a boy under there. I’m like a dog. I live in perpetual hope.
I know there are many parents out there who may not be able to relate to our family’s story. Their family’s story didn’t turn out like ours did. To you I say, don’t give up, don’t lose hope, don’t feel ashamed or inadequate. Our kids, just like yours, didn’t get to where they are now without going through their challenges too.
Remember the story of the prodigal son? Don’t let your disappointments make you the prodigal father or prodigal mother and lose hope. Be the father and mother waiting for the prodigal sons and daughters to return. You will be surprised how God can redeem, in one year, the 20 years you think you lost. It could be your family’s best years are ahead of you.
“Children are a blessing and a gift from the Lord.” Psalm 127:3
You might not be a goer,
but you can be a sender.
Your gift is a gift to communities and nations all over the world.